So, why does everyone keep asking me the same question again and again. If I am single or not. And if so, why am I still single. Yes, I am 23 and single. I haven’t dated at all till now. And no, it wasn’t because my parents forbade me to (P.S: That actually does not work). But because, I never felt the need to.
I have realised that I am a commitaphobe, probably scared of actually devoting my time to unending drama and emotional stress. And it has nothing to do with my family. I have had a happy childhood with maybe some bumps along the way, but who doesn’t. Anyway, so I have been asked out. But I have always felt, what’s the point? I don’t know if there is something fundamentally wrong with me or not. If I am wired wrong. But I believe I am so much more happier like this. I do not need someone else to define happiness for me.
I see my friends being in and out of relationships, like it is a joke. I think that’s what scares me. I consider relationships extremely seriously. And I cannot digest the reasons behind a relationship not working out. It actually makes me sad to see my favourite Hollywood couple breaking off their marriage after being with each other so long.
Its not like I haven’t tried to dip my toes into the dating pool. I have tried Tinder, tried conversing with the guys out there. Tinder was a big ego boost for me. Where my male friends were struggling to get 1 match, I got around 10 matches in that much time. Ha-ha, I totally bragged there. But yeah, at the end of it, it seemed totally pointless. I am not an extremely social person. I don’t party frequently. But I love talking to people. Once I am comfortable with someone, I could talk about absolutely anything with them. So, if people cannot strike up a conversation on Tinder, that for me, is a serious letdown. So I have installed and uninstalled Tinder quite a lot of times, depending on my mood.
For people telling me I am too picky, Tough luck.. that’s the way I roll.
So, while my facebook feed is getting filled with people in their 20s getting married, I am not even dating at this point. And for some reason, that does not scare me at all. That doesn’t make me lose my shit. Because I know, it might eventually happen some day. I am not going to sit around and keep waiting. I am going to live my life as a young 23 year old. Experience whatever is out there and maybe worry about this when I have no other work to do. So if someone asks you next time, why aren’t you dating someone.. You should try answering.. ‘ I am in a relationship with freedom’. 😉